Visiopoetics

I am basically done with my MA thesis. This is basically what it said (give or take a few slices of baloney).

Me and the Knights of the Charlottesville Comedy Roundtable are doing stand-up this Wednesday, Mar. 10 at Bel Rio at 21:30. Chaaaarge! (No, it’s free.)

LUPUS
+ WRITE
+ WRITE
+ WRITE
———-
RETIRE

In this post, I make reference to Flannery O’Connor’s brilliant “lupus + writing” retirement plan in alphametic form, for purposes of also plugging the monthly lupus meeting in town. Because Fridays are for Friday Alphametics, but there was too much stuff to post earlier this week to remind people that it’s that time again.

It’s that time again! The Lupus Foundation of Virginia Charlottesville chapter’s regular monthly meeting will be this Saturday, March 6 (the first Sat. of the month) at Cville Coffee at 12-noon.

These are informal, open meetings where you can come for delicious coffee, and stay to discuss local/regional/larger rheumatology resources, problems, and solutions.

Autoimmunity affects more Americans than heart disease or cancer, and coordination of resources critical. That’s why these meetings are open to all people who suffer from or are otherwise affected by any autoimmune disorder. (Spouses, friends, and family are welcome!) We are your community resource for information, support, and did I mention the coffee?

The health care reform bill has a life of its own, I opine on Open Salon.

It’s been impossible to replace Demockeracy as a go-to place for satirical newswriting since their super-cool voting software went HAL on us. Everybody reads The Onion, but nobody knows how to get stuff placed there. (If you are the exception, please let me buy you a beer or three.)

So now I’ve rediscovered and am really excited about trying Open Salon. The idea of it is wholly consistent with the original idea of the “opposite-editorial” (op-ed) pages. And also, they need more satirists. For to cross the roads and change the light bulbs, obviously.

How will Sarah Palin spin massive amounts of snow to mock global warming? Find out today at Yankee Pot Roast. Then amaze your friends with your political savvy.

Enjoy previous light verse here. Lovely illustration gratis Josh Abraham.

Artwork is oils on 16″ x 20″ stretched canvas.

RIGHTS
+ NIGHTS
———–
PRISON

This week in misogyny: a pregnant Iowa woman was arrested for attempted feticide after falling down stairs, and pregnant inmates in Britain suffered some pretty horrendous abuse.

I don’t have a joke here, I just think this stuff is wildly under-reported in news media because most women who get mistreated as women are too ashamed to talk about it.

Sadly, I have missed my calling as a Sesame Street translator.

Click on “Russia,” and then on “Ulitsa Sezam” to hear the Sesame Street theme a la Rusky. This raises the question: why does everything sound sad in Russian? Not in the language (which is “A Fish Called Wanda” sexay), but in the preferred musical arrangements. If you listened without watching the video and you knew none of the words, you would think this was a sad song from the melody and accompaniment alone.

It also sounds suspiciously like “Antiochus,” but I can’t find an online copy with which to properly underscore the exquisite irony of this similarity.

Exhibit B that happy Russian children can make any song sound tragic. Here they are singing, “We wish you happiness.” Not, contrary to the sound of it, “You shot my dog.” Who knew?

In happier news, I think I want to move to Egypt. Look at all those bright, happy kids on Alam Simsim! Bonus points for most fun-sounding translation of Sesame Street.

Updated for late winter/early spring (yes it is so spring, or nearly — shh). Please enjoy my refreshed exhibit at the Millmont Grille, locally owned and operated behind the Barracks Road Shopping Centre.

As the clearly scrawled business card taped to a painting in this exhibit reads, art –> $ –> Haiti. Here’s how this works: you write a check to one of these lovely aid organizations for Haiti relief, and I accept that check as payment for a painting. The added incentive to engage in this behavior is, I’ll give you a discount on the listed price of the art.

This is not Kristof’s usual tone, but it’s too creative and sculpted to read in smirky silence. (1) You must read it, and (2) you must read it aloud, and (3) you must read it aloud to somebody else. If you are Nick Kristof, you must read it on the radio. If you are somebody who would actually read my blog, but your eyesight is bad, call me and I will read it to you.